


A picnic

by SugarFluffiness



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oblivious Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-14 00:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10525176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarFluffiness/pseuds/SugarFluffiness
Summary: Merlin thinks that Arthur is the only one for him but then realizes that maybe someone else cares a little too much about it.





	1. Chapter 1

"Gwaine, don't talk like that," cautioned Merlin sternly. "I'm broken, Merlin," confessed Gwaine. "I nearly got you all killed. How am I supposed to live with the fact that I let you and Arthur down? What would have happened if you hadn't made it to the lake..." he broke off, breathing hard, his eyes wide with fear, not allowing himself to mention the fate that could have been of his king. Merlin smiled that soft, comforting smile. "Well, you didn't expect me to fail Arthur, did you? We will always triumph." He patted Gwaine on the shoulder and got up, dusting off his clothes. "The king is expecting me, but by all means come to have dinner with Gauis and I. Please," he added. Gwaine could tell Merlin was getting worried for him so he shone his charming, bright smile and nodded. "I'll be there Merlin. Thank you." He watched Merlin turn his back and leave and sighed, slumping back. 

"Arthur?" Merlin asked as he slowly opened the door. "Finally you're learning how to announce your presence before you barge into my chambers," said Arthur sarcastically from his place by the window. "Your room looks clean today," observed Merlin.  
"I didn't want to make a lot of work for you today," said Arthur, taking on a more serious note and turning to face his servant. Merlin laughed. "Now I never thought I would hear you say that. There must be something gravely wrong."  
"I just wanted to talk," said Arthur. "Let's go," he said briskly and gestured to his cloak. "This is a nice surprise," commented Merlin, smirking as he swept the cloak over the King's shoulders.  
"Don't forget to collect a basket from the kitchens and saddle up the horses," called Arthur as he glided out. "I have a matter to attend to first."  
Merlin sighed and shook his head. "Never an end the the orders I see," he playfully observed.  
"Oh and Merlin," Arthur came back into view. "That one time, did you juggle using magic or...your own skill?"  
Merlin grinned. "Trade secret," he whispered. "But if you give me a hug I'll consider telling."  
"Merlin!" the echo vibrated down the halls. 

"Where's Arthur?" asked Percival as him and Gwaine mounted their horses. "Off with Merlin," muttered Gwaine. Percival winked suggestively. "I think you and I both know what that means." He chucked, failing to see Gwaine's scowl deepen. "Why so glum, ladies?" asked Elyan, trotting up. "We don't have all day. The King would like to see these supplies delivered to the camp before sunset."

As they trotted along, Gwaine's mood soured as the thought of Arthur all cozy and relaxing with Merlin prevailed in his head. 

Gwaine rushed the Knights to hurry up and deliver the supplies, then cantered ahead of them back to Camelot. He had to talk to Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, do you think the chapters are too small? What do you think of my formatting? (Sorry, this is my first time)   
> Thanks for reading! Love all you Merlin fans! <3


	2. Dinner

"Merlin," greeted Gwaine with a smile. Seeing Merlin always brightened the Knight's day. Merlin smiled back, sweet and charming. "I'm glad you made it Gwaine. I sent Gaius off so we could have some time to talk." Seeing Gwaine's confused face, Merlin laughed. "It's okay, he was dying to spend some time with Alice anyways."  
Gwaine sat down at the small table, crossing his legs and trying to seem relaxed. "So, how was your little adventure with Arthur?" he asked casually although saying the Prince's name sent a strange shiver down his body. He clenched his teeth.  
"It was nice," chatted Merlin happily. "We rode down to a river nearby and ate there. It was so lovely not to have to be the one dragging behind Arthur and his new girl."  
Gwaine couldn't stand that. "Well how about let's go for a ride tomorrow. If the princess will let you off that is." Merlin shrugged. "I'm not sure if he'll like that...but I'll ask," he quickly added as Gwaine's face fell. "It's really not fair that Arthur gets you all to himself," he muttered, then forced a laugh as if it were a joke. If only it were a joke.  
Merlin grinned. "Are you hungry or what? I thought you were riding all day." "I'm starving," said Gwaine, raising his voice into his usual, jovial tone.  
"Great," stated Merlin, putting down two plates of stew onto the table. 

As Gwaine finished the last bit of stew from his bowl, he gestured to Merlin's uneaten portion. "Princess fed you too much royal food, huh?" he joked. Merlin's cheerful face fell. "Gwaine..." he started, but Gwaine interrupted him, unwilling to hear what Merlin had to say, and scared he went a bit too far. "Just kidding around Merlin. But Arthur's lucky to have you.....because the stew you make...I could die happy." He winked and grabbed Merlin's bowl. "You need some sleep, Gwaine," said Merlin carefully. "You're behaving really oddly."  
Gwaine reigned in his too-cheerful attitude. "You're right," he muttered. "I'm not myself."  
Just then, the door swung open revealing Gaius. "The King wants you, Merlin. He's yelling." Merlin winced and got up. "We'll finish this, Gwaine," he promised, bright blue eyes meeting soft, brown ones. "See you tomorrow," he called, and left, running.  
"Hello Gwaine," said Gaius. "How have you been?"  
"I need to visit the tavern," Gwaine muttered and walked out.


	3. The Tavern (Merlin's POV)

Merlin entered the tavern late, looking around for Gwaine. Gwaine’s previous words had worried him. It was normal for Gwaine to have held a hate for kings when Merlin first met him, but now things had changed. It was almost like Gwaine was sore at Arthur. But why on earth would he be? Gwaine was the last person Merlin would have described as jealous.  
Gwaine tilted his head back, downing the rest of his drink. “How about another, boys?” he yelled, raising his mug. “You’ve had enough Gwaine,” laughed Merlin. “I think it would be best to go home now.” Gwaine grumbled as Merlin slid his arm underneath his and supported the staggering Gwaine as they rose from the table in the Rising Sun and made their way out. “Well, now there’s nothing like a drink after running errands for Princess the whole day,” said Gwaine, turning to Merlin and giving him the old-but-not-forgotten ‘I hate royals’ look. Merlin ignored his remark, mostly because he was trying not to get too caught up in the touch of Gwaine leaning on him and the feeling of his toned body underneath the thin tunic. He was loyal to Arthur although now that Gwaine was living in Camelot and visiting him often, things had become a lot more exciting, and he usually found himself craving Gwaine’s company. Gwaine had always been gentle with Merlin, even if they did have the ever so often crazy adventure together. He opened the door to Gwaine’s room and helped him onto the bed. He seemed too drunk to wash anyway. Merlin turned and was about to walk back to his own spot on the floor when his wrist was caught firmly. “I don’t want you to leave,” said Gwaine, looking ruffled. Merlin grinned and tapped Gwaine’s leg. “You’ve had far too much to drink, Gwaine."  
“What if it was the King asking you?” growled Gwaine without thinking. Merlin sighed and pulled from Gwaine’s grasp, laying the rough blanket over him. “Go to sleep my friend,” he murmured and watched Gwaine drift off.


	4. Stables

Gwaine awoke with a blinding headache and although usually he would force himself to get up and attend training, today he decided to lean back and doze off again. He woke up leisurely, not sure if he slept in to annoy Arthur or just wallow in not-giving-a-fuck. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Merlin greeted Arthur’s horse. He scooped up a brush and began to sweep the dirt from the horse’s coat. “Arthur wants you all shiny and silky for his jousting competition today.” He hummed as he worked. An old love song popped into his mind and he began to sing softly. As he sang, brushing the horse, another voice joined in startling him. “Don’t stop,” he heard Gwaine’s rough voice say and turned to see Gwaine leaning against the doorway. He knelt down and picked a wildflower from among the trodden over dirt and mud. He brought it up to his nose and then tossed it at Merlin. “Perfect for you,” he called. Merlin grinned and they watched the flower float slowly to the stable ground. As Merlin knelt down to retrieve it, Gwaine cut in. “Don’t bother picking it up. We don’t want dirty hands on the King’s horse.” He winked. What he really wanted to say was, ‘I don’t want to see your beautiful hands messed up because of me...and my idiotic emotions.’ But of course, he would never dare let Merlin know how he felt...until he knew that Merlin felt the same. He couldn’t stop the pieces of his affection slipping through occasionally though.   
As Merlin got the horse ready he chatted with Gwaine. “Why aren’t you at training today?” he asked, concern clear.   
“Well, you know me, Merlin,” drawled Gwaine. “I’m never one to be bound by rules. I felt like breaking away from the boring schedule the King planned for me today. I’m skipping the jousting tournament today as well.”   
Merlin stopped what he was doing to stare at Gwaine. “Gwaine…” he began, then paused. “I thought I had lost that carefree, crazy man I met in that tavern so long ago.” His eyes twinkled.   
Gwaine chuckled. “I’ll always have that man in me, Merlin. When I finally found a home...he never really needed to exist anymore.” Gwaine’s eyes drew in Merlin’s, as if to convey an unspoken message.   
Merlin smiled. “I’m happy you’ve found a home Gwaine. Let it always be in Camelot.” He lead the horse out of the stables, the clip-clopping sound of the horse’s hooves growing quieter as he withdrew to serve the King.   
Gwaine saddled up his own horse, a hopeless thought running through his head. ‘My home will always be wherever you are.’


	5. Chapter 5

Gwaine cantered through the forest, wind lapping at his hair and cheeks. He allowed himself to relax, enjoying the moment of freedom.   
Finally he arrived at his destination, a small old house in the middle of the woods. He dismounted and entered the house, not bothering to knock or wait for the inhabitant to come back. 

Lancelot entered his cottage and was pleasantly surprised to see Gwaine’s figure waiting for him...albeit bent over a broken vase. “Gwaine,” he exclaimed warmly, rushing over to give his old friend a hug. “It's been too long,” he murmured into Gwaine’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him.   
Lancelot then pulled back and stared into the knight’s face. “What’s wrong? And don’t think about lying to me,” he added.   
Gwaine sighed. “I need your help.”   
Gwaine looked so lost and forlorn that Lancelot couldn’t resist a chuckle. “I’ve never seen you like this. Since when does something bother ‘you’?”   
“I’ve never felt like this before,” sighed Gwaine and slumped into a chair. “I have to contain my feelings for someone.”   
The confession startled Lancelot. “You in love?” he asked incredulously. “Can’t be. My roguish knight, the ladies man, sleeping around...now in love?”   
“That’s the way it is, Lancelot,” said Gwaine. “It doesn’t help that he’s taken by someone else. And the fact that anytime I’m around him to just enjoy his company, I end up acting like a jealous idiot.”   
“Oh, my poor friend,” sympathized Lancelot. “It’s hard I’m sure.”   
Gwaine shook his head. “You’ve been through so much more. Help me Lancelot. I don’t want to be feeling this way. I don’t want this emotion that puts a grey fog on everything I’ve worked so hard to become.”   
Lancelot gave a sad smile. “It sounds to me as if this person you love has helped you become who you are.”   
“You know who he is?” asked Gwaine.   
“Yes,” replied Lancelot softy. “You have a great dilemma indeed.” 

Gwaine mounted his horse at dusk and galloped back in the direction of Camelot. He knew what he had to do.


	6. Fate Is Inescapable

“Merlin,” called Gwaine cheerfully, waving to get the attention of the man serving dinner to the knights and his guests. Merlin finished pouring the wine and rushed over to Gwaine, a smile on his face.   
“Merlin” greeted Gwaine. “What's for dinner? Gaius’ leeches again?  
Merlin giggled. “Don’t remind me. Herb crusted capon..Arthur’s favorite.”   
“Perfect!” said Gwaine cheerfully. “I think I’ll have a bit.”   
Merlin grinned, delighted by Gwaine’s cheeriness. “I’ll go bring you some wine then.”   
As Merlin poured the wine and then turned to go, Gwaine couldn’t resist blurting, “Why don’t you eat with me?”   
Merlin grinned and shook his head. “I can’t. Gaius is bringing over Alice for dinner so maybe tomorrow night, yeah?” He sat down with Gwaine though and the two chatted about random things and old times.   
Gwaine felt cheerful inside and was not as reluctant to see Merlin leave when it was time. He decided that he wanted to always be feeling that way around Merlin. No more fluttery feelings and no more pain. It was time to end this ridiculousness and just to be friends. He had made up his mind. 

***

With a frustrated sigh, Gwaine entered the fourth tavern. This night he was not there to drink though. Instead he was tracking down a sorcerer to help him get over his troublesome feelings. He scanned the small room and then headed to a lone figure at a table. “Have you heard of anyone by the name of Gilli around here?” he asked.   
“Why?” asked the stranger, tilting their head to get a better view of Gwaine.   
“I need a sorcerer to cure me,” he muttered. “Have you heard of him or not?”  
“My, my, someone is a bit impatient,” said the man. “I’m Gilli. What’s your trouble?”   
Gwaine groaned in relief and helped himself to an empty chair, pulling it up so he could talk quietly. “I need to get rid of my feelings of-” he coughed. “Affection. I refuse to be chained by anything so small.”   
Gilli smiled secretively to himself. “Rebellious. You think it’s that easy to throw away something that strong? It’s not. Have you even told the person you love them?”  
Gwaine shook his head angrily. “Can you help me or not?”   
“I can,” said Gilli slowly. “But if this works, you’ll forget about the person entirely. They will be completely erased from your life. Do you want that?”   
Gwaine was silent for a moment. “There’s nothing that can be done I suppose. I’ll have to live with this curse of unrequited love.”  
“Are you a romantic poet?” asked Gilli cheekily. “Because if it’s not your profession, I advise you to stop talking like some lustful tragic hero.”   
Gwaine looked shocked. “This is the first time I’ve felt anything like this for anyone, you know. Give me some space to figure myself out first before judging me like that.”   
Gilli raised his hands in apology and got up. “Just saying, friend. Tell them you love them before it’s too late. You’ll never know the outcome.”   
‘But it is too late,’ thought Gwaine. “Thank you for your trouble,” he chose to say instead.


	7. Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was pretty short and took a long time to post...I've been super busy lately but now I've got a lot of time so I'll be writing quite a bit. ;P  
> It'll also be ending soon as well I'm thinking. :)  
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! <3

“Merlin!” Arthur called. “I just wanted to say...you have the morning off tomorrow. Just go off and enjoy yourself. You deserve a break.”  
“Impossible,” gasped Merlin.  
Arthur threw a pillow at him and Merlin ducked, laughing. “Don’t push it or I’ll change my mind,” Arthur joked. “Goodnight Merlin.”  
“Goodnight my king,” murmured Merlin, blew out the candles and quietly exited. 

*

“What’s wrong Merlin?” asked Gauis, seeing Merlin’s distressed expression. “You look troubled.”  
Merlin exhaled. “I don’t know what to do, Gauis. I’m completely torn.”  
The old man put his arm around the troubled man as he spilled his heart’s desires. 

*** 

Merlin opened Arthur’s door with a faint creak and peeked through. “Anyone home?” he whispered jokingly. The sunlight was falling into the large chamber, sneaking past the closed curtains and casting rays of light upon the floor. He tossed the plate of breakfast he was carrying onto the table and swiftly walked over to the curtains. He was about to rip them open, bathing the room in golden light when he heard a tired groan from the bed. That wasn’t Arthur’s voice. 

Merlin dropped the fabric of the curtains which was bunched in his hands and quickly left the room silently.


	8. Clarity

Arthur awoke beside his beloved knight.   
“Morning,” Leon greeted, pressing a kiss to the top of Arthur’s golden head. “Mornings are so hard,” managed to mumble Arthur.   
“That’s all you have for me?” asked Leon, giving Arthur his best hurt expression, managing to get a slight grin from the king.   
“Let’s go,” he called, springing up from bed like a cat. “We’ve got early morning training. And the knights will start to get suspicious if I keep coming to breakfast late.”   
Arthur rolled from bed lazily. “I need Merlin,” he mumbled. “I can’t do mornings without Merlin.”  
Leon grinned as he pulled a shirt over his head. “I’ll leave you to get ready. You can call for Merlin when I’m gone.”   
He slapped Arthur on the arm and walked out of the room, a cheerful air about him. Arthur smiled after him. How he cared for that man. 

Arthur ran a hand over his head, yawning. He leaned against his table and nearly knocked over a plate of food. 

***

“Arthur,” greeted Merlin. “I’m surprised you managed to get ready by yourself.”  
For once around Merlin, Arthur felt uncertain about him. “The breakfast was nice,” he said carefully.   
“For once you’re not complaining about it,” said Merlin. “I must have done something good.” He managed a small, sarcastic smile.   
“Merlin-” Arthur started. “-I didn’t tell you about my relationship with Leon. I’m sorry I hadn’t. Its the one thing I’ve ever kept from you…this time-” he trailed off, chewing his lip, looking ashamed.   
“I’m listening, Arthur,” piped up Merlin.   
Arthur gave a small smirk. “You’re okay with it?”  
Merlin laughed and shook his head. “You really are a prat, aren’t you? Of course I don’t mind! I don’t mind who you love Arthur. I’m glad we’re escaping the Prince and Servant roles, going for picnics and getting days off is lovely, but you don’t have to charm me into wanting you to have love.” He smiled softly. “And I do love you. I love you loyally as a friend...and if you’re in love with someone, I’m pleased. Leon is a great choice as well,” he added with a wink. 

“Merlin,” cried Arthur, his face heating up. “Just saying,” laughed Merlin, raising his hands in defense. “And since you’re capable of getting yourself ready in the morning, you should also be good for the rest of the day. I’ve got something to do,” he said, about to run off. 

“You’re giving yourself a day off?” called Arthur incredulously. “That’s right,” said Merlin cheekily and turned to leave. Merlin,” he cautioned fondly. “You better not be in the tavern!”   
Merlin stopped for a second with a contemplative look. “For once, I might actually be.”  
“Mer-lin!” yelled Arthur as he watched the man disappear.


	9. At last

Merlin slid into a seat at the table where Gwaine was hunched over. “What’s on your mind?” he asked gently.  
Gwaine lifted his head, dark hair falling back as he looked at Merlin, his frustrated expression turning calm. “Hi, Merlin. I missed your company.” He started to look flustered. “What I mean to say, is that we haven’t talked in awhile….or at least we haven’t casually done something together…” he trailed off, looking adorably confused.  
Merlin narrowed his eyes. “Last night...dinner….”  
“Oh, oh yes. We did that yesterday,” he trailed off. “I should probably go,” he said, giving up and standing.  
Merlin chuckled. “Stop running away, Gwaine. You’ve always been running. I think it’s time you settled down and built something for yourself...something permanent.” His eyes twinkled.  
Gwaine put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Thank you, Merlin. I’ll think about it.”  
He left before Merlin could open his mouth again. He couldn’t face it. There was no way he would stay in Camelot with his feelings weighing down on him. If he couldn’t face Merlin, there was hardly any other reason to stick around. 

***

Merlin caught Gwaine with a bag slung over his shoulder. “You’re not running away again,” he said, raising his voice. “I’m not going to let you do that to me.” He forcefully removed the strap around Gwaine’s shoulder, causing the bag to fall to the ground. Gwaine didn’t resist him, allowing Merlin to grasp his shoulders and stare into his eyes. “Speak to me, Gwaine,” he urged angrily. “And if you won't, then we’ll be stuck in this same position forever.” 

Gwaine decided it was finally time to talk. And if it wasn’t now, then it wasn’t ever, and he couldn’t let Merlin go without at least telling him why. Perhaps that would appease his aching soul at last. 

“I love you Merlin. I’ve loved you for so long and there was nothing I could do about it. If you don’t want me, I’ll leave. I just wanted you to know….you’re all I am. And I’ll keep loving you….for all eternity.” He looked down, sadness clouding over his features. “I’ve never felt so helpless before, Merlin,” he tried to say but couldn’t continue. The pain was too much. Emptying his heart was the hardest thing he’d done before. He’d fought for Merlin, stood up for Merlin, protected Merlin. There was no other way to say he loved the servant. 

Gwaine was met with silence. 

Just as he turned to leave, his heart completely shattered, Merlin spoke up, his voice rusty. 

“I love you Gwaine,” he murmured quietly. “I always have. I just denied it for so long because of my duty to Arthur...but now-” he broke off, lifting his gaze to meet Gwaine’s clear, brown eyes. “Knowing you feel the same, knowing there’s no one else for me... I want to spend eternity with you, Gwaine.” Gwaine smiled slowly, cupping Merlin’s face with one hand. “I always thought Arthur was the one for me...but you’ve been staring me in the eyes the whole time. I just didn’t think that I could have both.” Gwaine closed his eyes and softly pressed his lips to Merlin’s. They were both reminded of something old, something rekindled with the other, almost forgotten but found once more in each other. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end! Hope you liked it...please give me your thoughts!!  
> Thanks for reading!!!  
> <3  
> (I'm thinking I should also going to change the title in a bit) ;P


End file.
